Tulisa Reveals She’s Demisexual: ‘The Thought of Dating Makes Me Feel Physically Sick



London-based rapper and songwriter Tulisa Contostavlos, popularly known as Tulisa, recently made headlines with her revelation on I’m a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! that she identifies as demisexual. Her candid discussion about her sexual orientation, her experiences with celibacy, and her views on romance has sparked widespread conversation and curiosity about demisexuality, a lesser-known sexual orientation.

In this article, we’ll explore Tulisa’s journey, what it means to be demisexual, and the broader implications of her revelation for conversations around sexuality and relationships.

Tulisa’s Candid Admission

Tulisa, 36, is no stranger to the spotlight. Rising to fame as part of the hip-hop group N-Dubz in the 2000s, she later pursued a successful solo career with hit singles like Young and Sight of You. Beyond her music, she gained fame as a judge on The X Factor UK from 2011 to 2012. Despite her public persona, Tulisa has often kept her private life away from prying eyes. However, her latest confession has opened a new window into her world.

During a heartfelt conversation with a fellow contestant on I’m a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!, Tulisa shared that she identifies as demisexual. “I feel like I’m demisexual; I need to have a really close emotional bond with someone,” she explained. “I need actual depth. I’m a slow, slow burner. I’ve been celibate for over three years.”

For Tulisa, physical attraction isn’t a primary driver in her romantic life. Instead, she values deep emotional connections over superficial traits. “I’m not an overly sexualised person,” she said. “For me, it’s all about the connection and the emotions that I feel with someone and then wanting to express them in that way.”

Breaking Stereotypes and Embracing Identity

The revelation has sparked significant debate online, with many applauding Tulisa for opening up about her identity. Demisexuality is often misunderstood or overlooked in mainstream discussions about sexuality. By sharing her story, Tulisa has brought attention to an orientation that many people might not be familiar with.

Interestingly, Tulisa also revealed her discomfort with modern dating. Despite having a profile on Raya, the exclusive dating app for celebrities, she confessed that the thought of dating “genuinely makes me feel physically sick.” This admission sheds light on the emotional toll and challenges faced by those who identify as demisexual in a world that often prioritizes physical attraction in romantic contexts.

Understanding Demisexuality

Demisexuality is a sexual orientation that falls on the asexual spectrum. A demisexual individual experiences sexual attraction only after developing a deep emotional bond with someone. Unlike sexual attraction that might be sparked by physical appearance or chemistry, demisexual attraction is rooted in emotional intimacy.


Key characteristics of demisexuality include:

1. Emotional Connection First: Sexual attraction is not immediate and only emerges after trust and emotional depth have been established.

2. Not Driven by Appearance: Unlike societal norms that emphasize physical looks as a factor in attraction, demisexuals prioritize emotional compatibility.

3. Varied Experiences: Demisexuality exists on a spectrum, and the degree of emotional connection required may vary from person to person.

Demisexuality challenges conventional ideas about love and attraction. It emphasizes the importance of connection, trust, and understanding over fleeting physical desires.

Tulisa’s Three Years of Celibacy

Tulisa’s decision to remain celibate for over three years aligns with her demisexual identity. For many demisexual individuals, the absence of a deep emotional bond can lead to a lack of desire for physical intimacy. This isn’t a sign of disinterest or repression but rather a reflection of their orientation.

Celibacy, in Tulisa’s case, appears to be a personal choice rooted in self-awareness and respect for her boundaries. Her candidness about her celibacy challenges societal norms that often equate sexual activity with happiness or fulfill

The Impact of Tulisa’s Revelation

Tulisa’s openness about being demisexual has brought much-needed attention to this often-overlooked orientation. While demisexuality isn’t new, it’s rarely discussed in mainstream media. Her revelation has encouraged others to explore and embrace their own identities, breaking down the stigma surrounding asexual and demi-oriented experiences.

Social media has been abuzz with reactions to Tulisa’s confession. Many fans have expressed their support, with some even sharing their own journeys of discovering th.eir demisexuality. Others have used the opportunity to educate their circles about what it means to be demisexual, creating a ripple effect of awareness and acceptance.

Challenges Faced by Demisexual Individuals

Despite the growing awareness, demisexual individuals often face unique challenges, including:

1. Misunderstanding: Many people mistake demisexuality for celibacy, prudishness, or a lack of interest in relationships. This oversimplification can lead to judgment and isolation.

2. Dating Difficulties: In a world where swiping right is the norm, demisexuals may struggle to find partners who value emotional connections over physical attraction.

3. Pressure to Conform: Societal expectations around romance and sex can make demisexual individuals feel out of place or pressured to conform to conventional standards.

Tulisa’s story highlights these challenges while offering hope and representation for those who feel unseen in traditional narratives about relationships and sexuality. 

The Importance of Representation

Representation matters, especially when it comes to diverse sexual orientations. Celebrities like Tulisa, who use their platforms to speak openly about their identities, play a crucial role in normalizing conversations about sexuality.

Tulisa’s revelation serves as a reminder that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to love, attraction, or relationships. By sharing her journey, she has not only empowered herself but also inspired others to embrace their authentic selves.

Closing Thoughts

Tulisa’s admission that she is demisexual and her decision to remain celibate for three years have reignited important discussions about love, connection, and the spectrum of human sexuality. Her story is a powerful example of how authenticity and vulnerability can challenge stereotypes and foster understanding.

As society continues to evolve in its understanding of sexual orientations, voices like Tulisa’s are essential in shaping a world where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued. Her journey is a testament to the beauty of individuality and the importance of emotional depth in a world that often prioritizes surface-level connections.

Tulisa’s honesty has not only broken the internet but also opened hearts and minds—creating space for more inclusive conversations about what it truly means to love and be loved.


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